If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you’ve been abused, whether it’s financially, emotionally, verbally or physically, you may have realized that it’s not the first time. People who have been abused tend to repeat the pattern. You’ve been told that in order to stop attracting these types of people you need to heal your past. You may have spent months or years seeing a psychologist or taken medication and it hasn’t worked. Or you’ve been told to have stronger boundaries and learn how to be more assertive. What they don’t tell you is that it’s only one piece of the puzzle. It can be very cathartic to share your story with a psychologist, and to numb the feelings with anti-depressants, but the effect doesn’t last. You can't keep paying to have someone listen to you for years on end. It’s slow and time-consuming, and only partially makes you feel better. The reason you keep finding a partner who doesn’t love you is because deep-down you never received love. You don’t believe you are loveable or worthy. If you want to find a man who truly values you, and is someone whom you can trust, you need to first learn to love yourself. In order to do that, you need to feel worthy. When you feel like you matter, that what you have to offer is valuable, and that you are important, then you won't allow someone else’s needs to come before your own. One of the things you need to do is learn who you truly are, under the mask. Many of my clients are people-pleasers, and they have been doing what others want for so long, that they don’t know what's important to them. They haven’t allowed themselves to take off their happy mask and be seen for who they are. They don’t know how to ask, or how to stand up, for what they want, for fear of not being loved. If you are putting on a mask, how can a person love you for who you are? In order to be yourself you need to let go of the fear of abandonment, walking on eggshells, and not trusting that someone can truly love you. This requires going into your emotions, where all the pain is held. This is why anti-depressants don’t work – because you’re numbing the very feelings that are telling you where the healing needs to take place. This is also why speaking to a psychologist or counsellor hasn’t worked – because you are talking about what happened, which is in your head, and not processing the feelings. When you understand yourself and why you do the things you do, you’ll never have to worry about attracting the wrong man again. You’ll be able to spot the red flags with confidence, so that you don’t land up in a relationship that is not serving you.
My Emotional Mastery Program is an 8-week hands-on, 1-to-1 program where you finally heal your painful experiences by connecting with your emotions, so that they no longer rule your life. You will learn to love and trust yourself, set effective boundaries without feeling guilty, and take off your mask, so you can be loved for who you are. No more wasting time with people who don’t value and respect you. And no more spending years making little- to no progress. If this sounds like something you need, click here to book a free call with me, so I can show you my unique process to finding real love and trust again.
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Do you sometimes wonder if there’s somewhere better you can be? Are you feeling like you need a change, but you can't because of financial obligations, guilt or loyalty? Read on, because I’m going to share with you why you are stuck and what you can do to get unstuck. But first, I want to tell you about Richard. Richard came to see me because of anger issues. He was an qualified auditor, managing staff in a large company. He was struggling to get his work done, because he was constantly being interrupted. The problem was that he was required to be there for his staff, so he couldn’t say no them. When he finally came to see me, he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He was drinking excessively, and he was regularly fighting with his wife. Although he was really good at his job, he secretly had been writing a children’s book. Something he had always wanted to do. He believed there was no money in writing books, and he was an amateur author. Within 8 weeks, he cleared the expectation his father had of him to become an accountant, and realized that his dream of being an author was a true calling that lit him up inside. Within months he quit his job, and he currently runs a successful book store. He has written 5 more books, and is a leading publishing house for other aspiring authors. He no longer drinks, and his relationship is solid and happy. I’m sharing this with you, because we all know deep down what we truly want. When we are expected by society, and even ourselves, to do something that drains us, it takes its toll. We each have a zone of genius and your zone of excellence.
The cause of feeling stuck When you feel stuck it’s because you are stagnating in life. You feel like there must be something more, and you have an urge to grow and expand. This is natural for all life on earth. However, when you feel that there are constraints that are holding you back, it’s because you have limiting beliefs around change. You may feel you’re not good enough, not trained enough, there's no money in it, etc. Overcome feeling stuck What is keeping you stuck is not your ability, nor your resources, it’s your beliefs you have about them. When you change your beliefs, the opportunities become plentiful. To open yourself up to new possibilities, there are 2 things you need to do. 1. You simply need to look around you, to see that people are making money doing what you love. Artists are charging thousands for a painting, people are making money traveling the world in an RV. Some people are doing what you love and you are more qualified than them, and they are still making money. 2. Rather than push through and stick with the tried and tested, allow yourself to go to bed at night and spend 5 minutes wondering how life would be if you were doing that thing you love. That’s it.
That’s all you need to do. Just lie in bed, and say to yourself, “I wonder how it would feel if …” And take those thoughts with you into dreamland. The cost of not doing what you love, or what you are called to do is high. It negatively impacts on everyone around you: your company, your clients, your relationships and your health. I can help you to identify your passion, clear your limiting beliefs, and set a goal to create the life of your dreams. My 8-week Emotional Mastery program helps you to fast track your life. Imagine how it would feel if you didn’t’ have Monday blues on Sunday anymore. Imagine how it would feel to be in an environment that lights you up. If you want to know more click here for a 45 minute call. It’s free, no obligation. The worst that can happen is that you gain clarity for yourself. Till then Soul Dreamer, Natasha “Love What I Do” Williams This blog is going to different. I have been toying with the idea of sharing my story for a while, because once you're on the internet, it’s hard to remove yourself. But, without my story, you don’t know where I’m coming from, and I can't tell people to be authentic, when I’m not. Most of our lessons come from experiences we’ve had, and there's always a reason why people do the things they do. I became an exotic dancer after I left varsity. (I had tried working at a corporate job, but the pay was horrendous and I was harassed by my boss.) There were a few reasons at the time: the money was good, and, growing up, there was a part of me that always wanted to dress up and perform on stage, little did I know that I’d actually be doing it. I also had this crazy notion that I wanted to help women who found themselves in the shady side of society. And, to me, the best way to help them was to do the same work they were doing. I wanted to understand what drove them to do what they did. To get inside their mind. I went into it with the intention of helping them, but I landed up helping myself. I threw myself into the spotlight, where I not only had to perform naked, but I needed to pretend I loved my body. They say the number one fear is public speaking – try dancing naked on stage. You are scrutinized from every angle, and you need to smile while doing it. I became really great at what I did. I went from being a shy, introvert, to a happy and confident woman. Dancing helped me to travel the world and go to places that most women weren’t allowed. I was like a geisha girl. I danced on shark tanks, in limousines, in Learjets, on boats. I danced in the desert, in seedy bars, and in 5-star conference centers. The largest audience I performed for was for 2500 men. I danced at private functions, for top officials, and heads of companies. For 16 years I mainly saw men. The only women were the other dancers, or staff. I saw how men behaved when there are no women around. I learnt how to move my body in a way that most women never learn. I learnt to be street-smart, and I learnt how to keep myself safe. I learnt how which men I could trust, and which ones I couldn't, and I saw the good and the dark side of them. Let me be clear. Dancing was my career, and I treated it the same way a waitress treats her job. Just because I served men, doesn't mean I hung out with them. I never socialized with them, and I never dated them. I would arrive at the venue, do my show, and then leave. Because I'd always wanted to help women, I wanted to teach them what I had learnt. I wanted to share how much confidence I had gained, and how they could feel good in their bodies, no matter what they looked like. I opened up my first studio in 2004, where I began teaching sensual dance fitness classes. For the next 16 years I only worked with women. The only men I ever saw were my student's boyfriends or husbands. It was a culture shock and took me a while to get used to, There was a drawback though, and that was the judgement and condemnation of society. If I walked in the room and someone had their boyfriend with them, they would pull them away from me. Not that I was interested - I had so many men I could have chosen from if I wanted. 'Normal' people looked down on me, and even years after I stopped dancing, I still had people making remarks about me. Once a woman told me I was demeaning myself. I told her I’d worked for a narcissistic boss before, who had harassed me and paid me next to nothing. I was offering a service and there was a demand for it. Rather than judge me, why are the men not being judged? What about the 2500 men that were at one event? If society wasn’t repressed, the men wouldn’t be there in the first place. But there's a spiritual side to all of this. Think about this: What if I did women a favour by dancing, so that they didn’t have to? Alternatively, what if women allowed themselves to freely express themselves? Then I wouldn’t have to dance, because there would be no need for it. I’m not sorry I danced. I loved it. It fed my soul. It filled a void in my life and I got paid really well for it. I took everything I learnt from dancing, and I shared it with thousands of women. I helped them to feel better about their bodies, which has had a ripple effect into society. I paid it forward, and I did it with love. If I never danced, I could never have shared what I learnt. I didn’t teach women how to get naked, they know how to do that. I taught them how to connect with their body, how to move with flow and grace, and how to be confident. And how to accept themselves for who they are. If anyone finds that a problem, then you don’t need to read what I share, because it’s not for you. There is so much I gained from following my heart and doing what I wanted to, despite what society says. I never saw it as selling my soul, I saw it as offering a soul service. I got to travel, make money, learn to genuinely love myself, and share what I learnt with so many people. I founded a whole movement of pole dancing in South Africa, and trained many studio owners, who are still out there teaching many, many more women.
My point of all of this, is that you don’t know where your passion is taking you. You have no way of looking years ahead into the future, but if I had stayed in my miserable job working for that narcissistic boss, I wouldn’t be sharing my gifts with the world, and you wouldn’t be reading this. Its time to follow your heart, and do what lights you up – NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY THINKS. If I can do it, and I can share it, then whatever your dreams are, they can definitely be followed too. Till then Free Spirit, Natasha “True to Myself” Williams Follow me on any of my profiles below. I share videos, and stories from the heart. When I was young, the boys in my street used to steal my school bag from me, then throw it around amongst each other, like playing ball. I was half their size, so every time I went to one boy to get my bag, he would throw it to the next boy. I was miserable, because I could never get it, and they made me late for school. I decided one day that I would just sit down and wait for them to finish. I’ll tell you what happened, but first I want to share with you what’s happening in the world, and how you can change it. There are a lot of people living in fear at the moment. Besides war-torn countries, we’ve been inundated with negative news, extreme price hikes, lack of essential services, including water and electricity, and food shortages. Not to mention that the average person’s salary hasn’t increased to cover the shortfall. All of this is done intentionally by those who want to dominate the world. By squeezing the people into a corner, and taking away their ability to survive, they can be controlled easier. And the best form of control is fear. If you have seen through the illusion of the fear mongering, then this message is for you. There are many people who want to take action and stand up against these people. But speaking out doesn’t get you anywhere, and in fact, they will persecute you. What I’m seeing is a ground movement that is happening quietly. It feels like we are in the process of gathering our strength – it’s the quiet before the storm. It feels like all the things happening all over the world are like a game of whack-a-mole. You rush to put out a fire here, then they create another one of there. And you run around trying to put out the fires, and they are like the puppet masters making you run around, rather than letting them burn themselves out, like the boys who took my schoolbag, while we watch and wait on the sidelines. When I stopped running around after them, they got bored. Instead of throwing it around for ages, they just dropped my bag and left. They never took my bag after that, and I learnt that it was because I engaged that they kept doing it. I never knew I had full control.
The time we are in now is a necessary time for solitude to prepare for what is ahead. Athletes don’t go partying the night before a big game – they rest. We need to build up the infantry and get ready, but what you do in this time is important. Here are 3 important things you need to do right now:
It's for this reason that I created the Heal Yourself Through Shadow Work Journal. For those who can't afford coaching, or are not able to right now, the Shadow Work Journal will help you to raise your vibration and to heal your childhood trauma at your own pace. You can delve into your childhood, knowing you are safe and that you are capable of healing. Click here to buy for only $19. You can choose whether you want to live in love, or live in fear. Ultimately, it's your choice, and it’s all part of our journey as souls. Till then, Wonderful Being Natasha “Feeling My Fear and Doing it Anyway” Williams
Narcissism is Spiritual Warfare
This is my perspective, which you may, or may not, agree with. We are spiritual beings in a human body. But... not all humans have the same DNA and we definitely don’t have the same perceptions, experiences and intent. You only need to see what’s happening in Israel and the world at the moment to see the atrocities being committed. People wonder “how can a person do that to another human being?” Firstly, you need to have a heart in order to have empathy for another. A person who deliberately harms someone for their pleasure does not have a heart. Enter the narcissist. Whether he/she has a heart is up for speculation, however, if they do have one, then the heart energy is blocked and they do not have access to it. But, because it’s blocked, they are also not able to feel love, joy, happiness, or any of the other uplifting emotions. The only emotions they are capable of feeling are pride and courage at best. Their go-to emotions are anger, envy and, for the ‘lower’ narcissist, lust. (Some narcissists pride themselves on having a ‘superior intellect’ and human desires are beneath them). Emotions, such as guilt and shame are suppressed so deep that they can never allow themselves to feel or show any kind or remorse or responsibility. A person’s ability to receive vital energy comes from connecting to the heart. If your heart is blocked, then so is your ability to be reenergized. Compassion is the highest emotional frequency. So, the only way a narcissist can be energized then, is to take it from others. They tend to choose people who have a lot of compassion and empathy, because they have a lot to give. It’s a source of fuel for them. However, because they don’t have a heart, they are still not able to feel the compassion. They falsely believe that if they take the energy from another that they will then take the compassion too. Unfortunately, you can't get a heart by eating someone else’s heart. You need to open your own heart to feel love and compassion. They can't understand why others feel so deeply. They see them as weak, emotional and pitiful, rather than realizing that it’s through being humble that you connect with your heart centre. Enter the empath. The empath has suppressed parts of themselves too. They have learnt to hide their narcissistic traits by being always giving and loving. They learnt to put other’s needs before their own, in direct contradiction to the narcissist. The empath does for everyone else, and they come last. The narcissist does for themselves first, and everyone else comes last. The empath can see the narcissist's deep wound and lack of love, and so they are drawn to try and heal the narcissist by showing them what love is. Unfortunately, the narcissist is so blocked that he sees the empath as being pitiful and weak. This is the dynamic that plays out in narcissistic relationships. The narcissist needs the energy that the empath provides, and the empath is yearning for the deep love and connection that the narcissist offered in the beginning of the relationship to lure them in. The empath keeps hoping and believing the narcissist can heal, but the problem is that the narcissist doesn’t want to. And why should they? They get all their needs met already, without needing to change. It’s the empath who is in pain. Enter spiritual warfare We are all spiritual beings having a human experience, but if you are not connected to the universal love, then how do you get power? The only way is to work with the dark forces. I've found that every narcissist I met was involved in some way or another in the dark arts, magic, alcohol, pornography, or anything that pulls in dark entities. They will use what they can in order to gain fame, money, power or control. Even the so-called ‘religious’ narcissist. They may be pretend to be a good Samaritan, but their intention is to corrupt from the inside and gain power that way. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you create energetic cords of attachment. They are not visible to people who aren’t able to see auras and energy, but they are as real as electricity. Even if you are in no contact with a narcissist, they are still connected to you energetically and so are pulling energy out of your body. The more energy they take, the less energy you have. This energy goes to the dark forces, because they cannot replenish their energy either. They are parasites and can only be sustained by taking it from another. It’s a bottomless pit, because the void that needs to be filled can never be filled, and so they will drain you completely and then go looking for more supply. They will keep taking and taking, until there is nothing left. They are not capable of stopping, because it would mean their ultimate demise. Narcissists need you in order to survive, but it will be at the cost of your life. They haven’t realised that the only way to reenergize themselves is to connect with their heart. But the thought of going within and meeting their hidden shame and guilt is petrifying. Their terror is so great that they would rather continue to keep feeding off others. If people are just fodder and these hungry parasites are allowed to keep feeding, they would wipe out the population. They would keep enough people around to just keep them alive, but it would look like the wasteland in the Lion King when the hyenas took over. In order to keep the cycle of life, you need to keep the predators in check. If they are left to their own devices, they will just keep on destroying whatever is in their path. This is why I keep saying that ‘Evil flourishes when good men do nothing’. It’s not about feeding the beast; it’s about keeping them in check. You need to learn to have strong boundaries, to stop giving to the detriment of yourself, and the most loving, compassionate thing you can do for another, is to allow them to suffer the consequences of their own choices, instead of carrying their burdens for them. This dynamic is playing out on a massive scale in humanity right now. It’s in all the institutions ranging from corporates to governments, and the only way they are going to stop is when people stop giving them leeway and making excuses for them. It’s time they are held accountable. This is the only way that peace and harmony can be restored. We all have a part to play. What they don’t realize is that we won't annihilate them the way they do us. We will treat them lovingly, with kindness and compassion, but they still need to be accountable for their actions. Spiritual ascension There is another level to this, and that is that we are ascending into a higher frequency, which they cannot attain if they remain in a low frequency. The reason why they want to instill so much fear into people is because fear lowers your frequency and will stop you from ascending. If you don’t ascend, they will be able to keep feeding off you, and you will be human fodder. If you want to see a better future, then don’t allow yourself to get sucked into the illusion of fear they are creating and keep your vibration high. You will become untouchable and they know it. Till then, Fearless Crusader Natasha "Boundaries" Williams |
AuthorNatasha Williams is a spiritual warrior. She has written 6 books, pioneered a fitness movement and is a master life and transformation coach. She lives in South Africa, but has clients worldwide. Archives
August 2024
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