How to stop loving men who don't love you

If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you’ve been abused, whether it’s financially, emotionally, verbally or physically, you may have realized that it’s not the first time. People who have been abused tend to repeat the pattern.

You’ve been told that in order to stop attracting these types of people you need to heal your past. You may have spent months or years seeing a psychologist or taken medication and it hasn’t worked.
Or you’ve been told to have stronger boundaries and learn how to be more assertive.
What they don’t tell you is that it’s only one piece of the puzzle.  
 
It can be very cathartic to share your story with a psychologist, and to numb the feelings with anti-depressants, but the effect doesn’t last. You can't keep paying to have someone listen to you for years on end. It’s slow and time-consuming, and only partially makes you feel better.

The reason you keep finding a partner who doesn’t love you is because deep-down you never received love.​ You don’t believe you are loveable or worthy.

If you want to find a man who truly values you, and is someone whom you can trust, you need to first learn to love yourself. In order to do that, you need to feel worthy. When you feel like you matter, that what you have to offer is valuable, and that you are important, then you won't allow someone else’s needs to come before your own.

One of the things you need to do is learn who you truly are, under the mask. Many of my clients are people-pleasers, and they have been doing what others want for so long, that they don’t know what's important to them. They haven’t allowed themselves to take off their happy mask and be seen for who they are. They don’t know how to ask, or how to stand up, for what they want, for fear of not being loved.

If you are putting on a mask, how can a person love you for who you are?

In order to be yourself you need to let go of the fear of abandonment, walking on eggshells, and not trusting that someone can truly love you. This requires going into your emotions, where all the pain is held.
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This is why anti-depressants don’t work – because you’re numbing the very feelings that are telling you where the healing needs to take place.
This is also why speaking to a psychologist or counsellor hasn’t worked – because you are talking about what happened, which is in your head, and not processing the feelings.
 

When you understand yourself and why you do the things you do, you’ll never have to worry about attracting the wrong man again. You’ll be able to spot the red flags with confidence, so that you don’t land up in a relationship that is not serving you.
 
My Emotional Mastery Program is an 8-week hands-on, 1-to-1 program where you finally heal your painful experiences by connecting with your emotions, so that they no longer rule your life. You will learn to love and trust yourself, set effective boundaries without feeling guilty, and take off your mask, so you can be loved for who you are.

No more wasting time with people who don’t value and respect you. And no more spending years making little- to no progress.

If this sounds like something you need, click here to book a free call with me, so I can show you my unique process to finding real love and trust again.