My Untold Story

This blog is going to different. I have been toying with the idea of sharing my story for a while, because once you're on the internet, it’s hard to remove yourself. But, without my story, you don’t know where I’m coming from, and I can't tell people to be authentic, when I’m not.

Most of our lessons come from experiences we’ve had, and there's always a reason why people do the things they do. 

I became an exotic dancer after I left varsity. (I had tried working at a corporate job, but the pay was horrendous and I was harassed by my boss.)

There were a few reasons at the time: the money was good, and, growing up, there was a part of me that always wanted to dress up and perform on stage, little did I know that I’d actually be doing it.
I also had this crazy notion that I wanted to help women who found themselves in the shady side of society. And, to me, the best way to help them was to do the same work they were doing. I wanted to understand what drove them to do what they did. To get inside their mind.
I went into it with the intention of helping them, but I landed up helping myself.

I threw myself into the spotlight, where I not only had to perform naked, but I needed to pretend I loved my body. They say the number one fear is public speaking – try dancing naked on stage.
You are scrutinized from every angle, and you need to smile while doing it. 
 
I became really great at what I did. I went from being a shy, introvert, to a happy and confident woman. Dancing helped me to travel the world and go to places that most women weren’t allowed. I was like a geisha girl. I danced on shark tanks, in limousines, in Learjets, on boats. I danced in the desert, in seedy bars, and in 5-star conference centers. The largest audience I performed for was for 2500 men. I danced at private functions, for top officials, and heads of companies. For 16 years I mainly saw men. The only women were the other dancers, or staff.
I saw how men behaved when there are no women around.

I learnt how to move my body in a way that most women never learn. I learnt to be street-smart, and I learnt how to keep myself safe. I learnt how which men I could trust, and which ones I couldn't, and I saw the good and the dark side of them.
 
Let me be clear. Dancing was my career, and I treated it the same way a waitress treats her job. Just because I served men, doesn't mean I hung out with them. I never socialized with them, and I never dated them. I would arrive at the venue, do my show, and then leave.
 
Because I'd always wanted to help women, I wanted to teach them what I had learnt. I wanted to share how much confidence I had gained, and how they could feel good in their bodies, no matter what they looked like. I opened up my first studio in 2004, where I began teaching sensual dance fitness classes. For the next 16 years I only worked with women. The only men I ever saw were my student's boyfriends or husbands.
It was a culture shock and took me a while to get used to, 

There was a drawback though, and that was the judgement and condemnation of society. If I walked in the room and someone had their boyfriend with them, they would pull them away from me. Not that I was interested - I had so many men I could have chosen from if I wanted. 'Normal' people looked down on me, and even years after I stopped dancing, I still had people making remarks about me.

Once a woman told me I was demeaning myself. I told her I’d worked for a narcissistic boss before, who had harassed me and paid me next to nothing. I was offering a service and there was a demand for it.
Rather than judge me, why are the men not being judged? What about the 2500 men that were at one event? If society wasn’t repressed, the men wouldn’t be there in the first place.

But there's a spiritual side to all of this.

Think about this: What if I did women a favour by dancing, so that they didn’t have to?
Alternatively, what if women allowed themselves to freely express themselves? Then I wouldn’t have to dance, because there would be no need for it.

I’m not sorry I danced. I loved it. It fed my soul. It filled a void in my life and I got paid really well for it.
I took everything I learnt from dancing, and I shared it with thousands of women. I helped them to feel better about their bodies, which has had a ripple effect into society.
I paid it forward, and I did it with love. If I never danced, I could never have shared what I learnt.

I didn’t teach women how to get naked, they know how to do that. I taught them how to connect with their body, how to move with flow and grace, and how to be confident. And how to accept themselves for who they are.

If anyone finds that a problem, then you don’t need to read what I share, because it’s not for you.

There is so much I gained from following my heart and doing what I wanted to, despite what society says. I never saw it as selling my soul, I saw it as offering a soul service. I got to travel, make money, learn to genuinely love myself, and share what I learnt with so many people. I founded a whole movement of pole dancing in South Africa, and trained many studio owners, who are still out there teaching many, many more women. 
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My point of all of this, is that you don’t know where your passion is taking you. You have no way of looking years ahead into the future, but if I had stayed in my miserable job working for that narcissistic boss, I wouldn’t be sharing my gifts with the world, and you wouldn’t be reading this.
 
Its time to follow your heart, and do what lights you up – NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY THINKS. If I can do it, and I can share it, then whatever your dreams are, they can definitely be followed too.
 
Till then Free Spirit,
 
Natasha “True to Myself” Williams 


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